I do not know if this is just a southern thing or if it is a suburbia thing, or if it is a cultural thing but I would like to get every ones opinion on “the wave”. What is “the wave”? The wave is what you do when you are driving or walking and you wave at a unknowing and unrelated person driving or walking pass you. Okay, It is not an all out how you doing wave but it is nonetheless an “hey there person on the road that I don’t know but i am nice so I am speaking to you wave”. Now its not that I have a problem with “the wave” but what happens when the wave is not returned or worst is returned with the “stank eye”? Does it even matter? Well from my perspective it does. I believe that if a person gives you “the wave” it is only right that you return the courtesy. Now I have visited cities in the Northern part of the U.S. and I think they have figured out this problem for themselves. THEY JUST DON’T DO IT! That’s right there is no waving so there are no hurt feelings. Nobody speaks, nods their head, gives the hello eye contact, or wave as you pass by. Now this works for places up north but in the south it is part of the cultural fabric to wave, speak, nod your head, or sometimes all of the above in some sequence.
Well I did my social or should I say southern dilegence today and I gave a person walking by “the wave” but I did not so much as get a nod in return. Instead I got the “stank eye”. You know the look that asks why did you wave at me and never do it again. I thought I was just doing my part to keep the wheels of peace and balance on the earth spinning but I was mistaken today. Could it be that I am all wrong on this wave thing? Maybe people really don’t like to wave in the first place but they tolerate it from southerners. I don’t know the answer but I believe that from now on I will play it safe and wait for the initial wave before I display my wave in a public manner. This will at least ensure I am on the good side of the “return wave” because the last thing anyone wants these days is to feel like their generous southern wave has been returned with a notorious “stank eye”. I obviously need to venture up north a lot more were there is not so much pressure to be nice to people you don’t even know. This is just my perspective on “the wave”. What does everyone else think?
Oh, it’s not just the Northerners that don’t receive the goodness of “the wave”… the Westerners lack the motivation to wave as well. Once, in California, I went to pick up a few items at the grocery store. The cashier was rude, threw my stuff in the bag without considering what it was and how it should be placed in the bag, then practically threw my change at me. Instead of being nasty in return I said, “Have a good day,” with a big bright smile. She looked at me with the eyes of a killer. I ran out of there so fast. On a side note, I refuse to not be a polite Southerner, just to fit in with their norms of being rude.
I just stumbled on to your blog by reading Monique’s…
In Austin the wave has not disappeared completely, but yet it is not as common as it once was. When I go running I now make it a point to give an “acknowledgment wave” and a head nod to everyone I pass going in the opposite direction. I think it is sad that we have gotten to the point in society where it is more acceptable to put your head down and essentially stop acknowledging the existence of other people around you. So my advice is to embrace the southern ways and continue to wave!